Imagine this: You’re wearing a new outfit that you just bought and it makes you feel like you own the world and everything in it! You finally got the courage to try out the new style you've always wanted to. You feel confident, powerful, and like you can take on anything that comes your way. You want someone to try you.
But then, you walk into work and everyone stares.
Side-eye Susan gives you her infamous side-eye. Your boss rolls her eyes, and your colleagues begin to whisper. Everyone's judging you and they are doing slim to nothing to hide it.
You suddenly feel like a fraud.
You become self-conscious and the entire day you have a hard time focusing on your job. You regret buying that outfit. You regret trying something new.
When the workday is finally over, you throw it into the closet and never wear it again.
This is what it’s like to feel like an imposter. It’s called imposter syndrome and it can break you if you don’t fight it constantly. Here are 5 of my personal secrets to fighting style imposter syndrome.
Do Too Much
Don’t ever apologize for being too much. Ever. Often times when we are being too much, we are only being ourselves. We become self-conscious of this piece of our personality because people like to give their unsolicited opinions about the way we are. About the way you are.
I’ve had countless people tell me what they didn’t like about me. They didn’t like that the fact that I was “too skinny”, “pretty for a black girl”, had full facial features & colored hair, or that I didn’t wear Hollister like every popular kid did in high school. They didn’t like me because I was too much for them. They didn’t like my colorful outfits, loud laugh & voice, or loud personality.
And guess what? I don’t care. And neither should you. Because the things that people don’t like about you are things that someone else loves about you. These are your superpowers and they make you unique.
Do too much because we live in a world that does too little.
Wear What Scares You
Are you in love with that multi-colored jumpsuit, but are too scared to wear it because you fear judgement? Are you in love with the boho look, but you’re too afraid to change your style because you fear that the people who are around will leave you because they don’t like your new look?
Perfect. Wear it anyway. Because the people who leave weren’t meant to be in your life in the first place. It’s a new season for you and they weren’t meant to come along. Wear the things that scare you because you’ll find who you are in the end.
Forget What People Say
I know, I know - it’s easier said than done. But if you think about it, those same people who are judging you for what you’re wearing are the same ones who are too scared to get out of their own little comfort zones.
Because they see you doing what they’re too scared to do, they see you as a threat. They throw their own insecurities on you so that they can bring you down to their level – the level that they don’t have the balls to get out of.
Rejoice that people are judging you and that Susan is giving you the side eye because that means you’re doing something right. You’re doing something they wouldn’t dare to do.
We’ve all heard the mantra before: “Self-love is the best love”. If you think about it though, it’s so true. If you are always unsure of yourself and not confident in who you are and what you do, no one else is going to be convinced either.
You can’t expect other people to love you fully and perfectly all the time because newsflash – we’re not perfect! You have got to learn to love yourself. Not everyone wants to be around someone who has zero self-love or respect for themselves. If you’re waiting for someone to love you without looking for ways to love yourself first – baby girl, you might be waiting a lifetime.
Remind Yourself of Who You Are
At the end of the day, you need to remind yourself of who you are because in this day and age it’s easy to forget. Imposter syndrome is the way it is because we forget who we are. We forget that we are on this planet for a reason – and that reason is to live to our fullest potential. How can you live to your fullest potential and wear the things that make you happy if you don’t even know who you are?
Recognize that you are a gift. Imposter syndrome plays a huge part in our lives and can easily destroy us if we don’t take control of it. Take control of who you are. Take control of your purpose.
At the end of the day, this is your life and you don’t want to get to the end of it regretting that you let your imposter syndrome control your life. Take every bit of advice and run with it.
Reclaim your power. You are meant for way too much to allow imposter syndrome to define who you are.
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