Have You Ever Felt Guilty About Style and Well - Everything?

Aug 27, 2021
fashion, style, stylist, take up space, melanin, black stylist, dallas, imposter syndrome, guilt, feel confident, advice, blog

If you haven’t figured it out already – I’m kinda crazy.

Here’s what I mean.

On August 1, 2021, I landed back in good ole’ Chicago after being in Berlin for a little over two years. Yeah, you read that correctly. Me – a black woman – left the U.S. to live in Germany for two. Years.

After I landed, I stayed a week in Chicago with my family there. Drove 5 hours south back to where my parents live and stayed there for week. Then my family and best friend helped me move to Dallas the week after and I started my new job a week later. 

Who do you know that moves to a completely different continent for two years, moves back home for two weeks and then moves 10 hours away?

Yeah – not many people I bet.

What can I say though - I have goals, and aspirations that the little ole town in the Midwest would have suffocated. 

So I made the best decision for myself and moved.

Okay, so I move to Texas with a new job and apartment – big whoop. What does that have to do with imposter syndrome?

Let me ask you this: Have you ever had a moment in life when everything seems to be falling into place TOO perfectly? Like you get the job you’ve been resilient on applying to that offers high earning and growth potential, a car magically falls into your lap, and you get approved for that new apartment or house? And then suddenly you ask yourself: What did I do to deserve this?

That’s exactly what I asked. 

After helping me move in, my parents and grandma took me shopping and bought me an insane amount of things to help get me started. At first, I was at ease – because I’m thinking “okay, I just need a few things so this shouldn’t cost that much.”

And what do you know – shit started adding up. A LOT.

They found more things that I could use and were happy to buy - but I started feeling guilty. Like hella guilty. Because it wasn’t my own money. It was their hard-earned money that they used on me.

Then the guilt started adding up. I started feeling like I didn’t deserve my apartment, my new car and job, and all the things my family bought me. How dare I receive any of these things and plan to build wealth? Who do I think I am for trying to be an entrepreneur? I started thinking that I had lost my entire mind for moving 10 hours away to a place I don’t even know (uhh, hello – how dare I because I literally left the country).

Imposter syndrome was kicking it y’all.

But then I reminded myself of who I am. I completely changed my thoughts from “I don’t deserve this” to “I deserve all of this and more.” Often times we feel this way when big things start happening – and then we feel guilty for receiving it because we feel like we shouldn’t have it.

Maybe you’ve even felt this way when it comes to your style - buying new clothes because you want to feel and look amazing. You want to feel confident and unstoppable and take up space - but you feel like you don’t deserve it. So you sabotage yourself by only wearing sweats, jeans and a t-shirt, or things you don’t even like (STOP THAT).

When you catch yourself feeling like an imposter – feeling guilty for receiving good things - remind yourself of who you are. Change your thoughts from “I don’t deserve this” to “I deserve all of this and more”. God gifted you these things and more. So put on that outfit and those pair of heels you’ve been staring at and walk around like the boss you are. Take up space. Own that space. Because you deserve it. 

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